Showing posts with label Ross Greene. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ross Greene. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

What If Everything You Knew About Disciplining Kids Was Wrong?

Article from Mother Jones July/August Issue

Link to original article: CLICK HERE!

What If Everything You Knew About Disciplining Kids Was Wrong?

Negative consequences, timeouts, and punishment just make bad behavior worse. But a new approach really works.
June Arbelo, a second-grade teacher at Central School, comforts a student who 
wants to go home during the first day of school. Tristan Spinski/GRAIN

LEIGH ROBINSON WAS out for a lunchtime walk one brisk day during the spring of 2013 when a call came from the principal at her school. Will, a third-grader with a history of acting up in class, was flipping out on the playground. He'd taken off his belt and was flailing it around and grunting. The recess staff was worried he might hurt someone. Robinson, who was Will's educational aide, raced back to the schoolyard.
Will was "that kid." Every school has a few of them: that kid who's always getting into trouble, if not causing it. That kid who can't stay in his seat and has angry outbursts and can make a teacher's life hell. That kid the other kids blame for a recess tussle. Will knew he was that kid too. Ever since first grade, he'd been coming to school anxious, defensive, and braced for the next confrontation with a classmate or teacher.
The expression "school-to-prison pipeline" was coined to describe how America's public schools fail kids like Will. A first-grader whose unruly behavior goes uncorrected can become the fifth-grader with multiple suspensions, the eighth-grader who self-medicates, the high school dropout, and the 17-year-old convict. Yet even though today's teachers are trained to be sensitive to "social-emotional development" and schools are committed to mainstreaming children with cognitive or developmental issues into regular classrooms, those advances in psychology often go out the window once a difficult kid starts acting out. Teachers and administrators still rely overwhelmingly on outdated systems of reward and punishment, using everything from red-yellow-green cards, behavior charts, and prizes to suspensions and expulsions.
How we deal with the most challenging kids remains rooted in B.F. Skinner's mid-20th-century philosophy that human behavior is determined by consequences and bad behavior must be punished. (Pavlov figured it out first, with dogs.) During the 2011-12 school year, the US Department of Education counted 130,000 expulsions and roughly 7 million suspensions among 49 million K-12 students—one for every seven kids. The most recent estimates suggest there are also a quarter-million instances of corporal punishment in US schools every year.
But consequences have consequences. Contemporary psychological studies suggest that, far from resolving children's behavior problems, these standard disciplinary methods often exacerbate them. They sacrifice long-term goals (student behavior improving for good) for short-term gain—momentary peace in the classroom.
Teachers who aim to control students' behavior—rather than helping them control it themselves—undermine the very elements that are essential for motivation: autonomy, a sense of competence, and a capacity to relate to others.
University of Rochester psychologist Ed Deci, for example, found that teachers who aim to control students' behavior—rather than helping them control it themselves—undermine the very elements that are essential for motivation: autonomy, a sense of competence, and a capacity to relate to others. This, in turn, means they have a harder time learning self-control, an essential skill for long-term success. Stanford University's Carol Dweck, a developmental and social psychologist, has demonstrated that even rewards—gold stars and the like—can erode children's motivation and performance by shifting the focus to what the teacher thinks, rather than the intrinsic rewards of learning.
In a 2011 study that tracked nearly 1 million schoolchildren over six years, researchers at Texas A&M University found that kids suspended or expelled for minor offenses—from small-time scuffles to using phones or making out—were three times as likely as their peers to have contact with the juvenile justice system within a year of the punishment. (Black kids were 31 percent more likely than white or Latino kids to be punished for similar rule violations.) Kids with diagnosed behavior problems such as oppositional defiant disorder (ODD), attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), and reactive attachment disorder—in which very young children, often as a result of trauma, are unable to relate appropriately to others—were the most likely to be disciplined.
Which begs the question: Does it make sense to impose the harshest treatments on the most challenging kids? And are we treating chronically misbehaving children as though they don't want to behave, when in many cases they simply can't?
That might sound like the kind of question your mom dismissed as making excuses. But it's actually at the core of some remarkable research that is starting to revolutionize discipline from juvenile jails to elementary schools. Psychologist Ross Greene, who has taught at Harvard and Virginia Tech, has developed a near cult following among parents and educators who deal with challenging children. What Richard Ferber's sleep-training method meant to parents desperate for an easy bedtime, Greene's disciplinary method has been for parents of kids with behavior problems, who often pass around copies of his books, The Explosive Childand Lost at School, as though they were holy writ.
His model was honed in children's psychiatric clinics and battle-tested in state juvenile facilities, and in 2006 it formally made its way into a smattering of public and private schools. The results thus far have been dramatic, with schools reporting drops as great as 80 percent in disciplinary referrals, suspensions, and incidents of peer aggression. "We know if we keep doing what isn't working for those kids, we lose them," Greene told me. "Eventually there's this whole population of kids we refer to as overcorrected, overdirected, and overpunished. Anyone who works with kids who are behaviorally challenging knows these kids: They've habituated to punishment."
"We know if we keep doing what isn't working for those kids, we lose them… Anyone who works with kids who are behaviorally challenging knows these kids: They've habituated to punishment."
Under Greene's philosophy, you'd no more punish a child for yelling out in class or jumping out of his seat repeatedly than you would if he bombed a spelling test. You'd talk with the kid to figure out the reasons for the outburst (was he worried he would forget what he wanted to say?), then brainstorm alternative strategies for the next time he felt that way. The goal is to get to the root of the problem, not to discipline a kid for the way his brain is wired.
"This approach really captures a couple of the main themes that are appearing in the literature with increasing frequency," says Russell Skiba, a psychology professor and director of the Equity Project at Indiana University. He explains that focusing on problem solving instead of punishment is now seen as key to successful discipline.
If Greene's approach is correct, then the educators who continue to argue over the appropriate balance of incentives and consequences may be debating the wrong thing entirely. After all, what good does it do to punish a child who literally hasn't yet acquired the brain functions required to control his behavior?

Nina D'Aran, Principal of Central School in South Berwick, Maine
Nina D'Aran, the principal of Central School in South Berwick, Maine, has implemented many of 
Dr. Ross Greene's methods and philosophy along with her staff. Tristan Spinski/GRAIN

WILL WAS STILL wielding the belt when Leigh Robinson arrived, winded, at the Central School playground. A tall, lean woman who keeps her long brown hair tied back in a ponytail, she conveys a sense of unhurried comfort. Central, which goes from pre-kindergarten through third grade, is one of a few hundred schools around the country giving Greene's approach a test run—in this case with help from a $10,000 state anti-delinquency grant.
Will, who started first grade the year Central began implementing Greene's program (known as Collaborative and Proactive Solutions, or CPS), was an active kid, bright and articulate, who loved to play outside. But he also struggled, far more than the typical six-year-old, to stay in his seat—or in the room. When he couldn't find words for what was bothering him, he might swing his hands at classmates or resort to grunting and moaning and rolling on the floor. A psychologist diagnosed him with a nonverbal learning disorder, a condition that makes it hard to adapt to new situations, transition between settings, interpret social cues, and orient yourself in space and time. At the beginning of second grade, Central designated Robinson as his aide.
Out on the playground, she approached the boy reassuringly, like a trained hostage negotiator. "Do whatever you need with the belt," she told him gently. "Just keep it away from people." Slowly, Will began to calm down. They walked over to some woods near the school, and she let him throw rocks into a stream, scream, and yell until, at last, he burst into tears in her arms. Then they talked and came up with a plan. The next time he felt frustrated or overwhelmed, Will would tell another staffer that he needed his helper. If Robinson were off campus, they would get her on the phone for him.
A few years earlier, staffers at Central might have responded differently, sending Will to the office or docking his recess time. In a more typical school, a kid who seems to be threatening others might be physically restrained, segregated into a special-ed room, or sent home for the day. Children with learning and behavior disabilities are suspended at about twice the rate of their peers and incarcerated at nearly three times the rate of the overall youth population,government data shows. Will, like most of Central's student body, is white, but for black kids with disabilities the suspension rate is 25 percent—more than 1 in 4 African American boys and 1 in 5 African American girls with disabilities will be suspended in a given school year.
Before Greene's program was put in place, conventional discipline at Central was the norm. During the 2009-10 school year, kids were referred to the principal's office for discipline 146 times, and two were suspended. Two years later, the number of referrals was down to 45, with zero suspensions, all thanks to focusing more on "meeting the child's needs and solving problems instead of controlling behavior," principal Nina D'Aran told me. "That's a big shift."
The CPS method hinges on training school (or prison or psych clinic) staff to nurture strong relationships—especially with the most disruptive kids—and to give kids a central role in solving their own problems. For instance, a teacher might see a challenging child dawdling on a worksheet and assume he's being defiant, when in fact the kid is just hungry. A snack solves the problem. Before CPS, "we spent a lot of time trying to diagnose children by talking to each other," D'Aran says. "Now we're talking to the child and really believing the child when they say what the problems are."
Before CPS, "we spent a lot of time trying to diagnose children by talking to each other," D'Aran says. "Now we're talking to the child and really believing the child when they say what the problems are."
The next step is to identify each student's challenges—transitioning from recess to class, keeping his hands to himself, sitting with the group—and tackle them one at a time. For example, a child might act out because he felt that too many people were "looking at him in the circle." The solution? "He might come up with the idea of sitting in the back of the room and listening," D'Aran says. The teachers and the student would come up with a plan to slowly get him more involved.
This all requires a dramatic change in mindset and workflow. Central School diverted building improvement funds to divide one classroom into two spaces. One side was called the "Learning Center"—a quiet spot for kids to take a break, maybe have a snack, and problem solve before going back into the classroom. The other area became a resource room. The school also committed to 20 weeks of teacher training, with an hour of coaching each week from Greene's trainer via Skype.
Will's breakthrough session happened in first grade, after several failed attempts, when D'Aran, then a guidance counselor, and his teacher sat down with him. He'd been refusing to participate in writing lessons with his classmates. Over 45 minutes, they coaxed Will through the initial moans and "I don't knows" and finally landed on a solution: Will said if he could use lined paper that also had a space to draw a picture, it would be easier to get started writing. Before long, he was tackling writing assignments without a problem.
Psychologist Ross Greene offers a radically different approach to fixing kids' 
behavior. Tristan Spinski/GRAIN
GREENE, 57, HAS curly brown hair, glasses, and the habit of speaking in complete paragraphs, as though he's lecturing a psychology class instead of having a conversation. At the annual conference of Lives in the Balance, the nonprofit he founded to promote his method and advocate for behaviorally challenging kids, I watched him address a crowd of around 500 teachers, psychologists, and other professionals. His baby face and tweedy blazer called to mind a high school social-studies teacher, but he worked up a full head of steam as he spoke of millions of kids being medicated and punished for misbehavior.
The children at risk of falling into the school-to-prison pipeline, Greene says, include not only the 5.2 million with ADHD, the 5 million with a learning disability, and the 2.2 million with anxiety disorders, but also the 16 million who have experienced repeated trauma or abuse, the 1.4 million with depression, the 1.2 million on the autism spectrum, and the 1.2 million who are homeless. "Behaviorally challenging kids are still poorly understood and are still being treated in ways that are adversarial, reactive, punitive, unilateral, ineffective, counterproductive," he told the audience. "Not only are we not helping, we are going about doing things in ways that make things worse. Then what you have to show for it is a whole lot of alienated, hopeless, sometimes aggressive, sometimes violent kids."
Greene was trained in behavior modification techniques—a.k.a. the Skinner method—as are most people who work with families and children. But in his early clinical work as a Virginia Tech graduate student, he began to question the approach. He'd get parents to use consequences and rewards, but the families kept struggling mightily with the basics—from dressing to chores and bedtimes. To Greene, it felt like he was treating the symptoms while ignoring the disease.
Around the same time, he learned about new brain research by neuroscientists who were looking at brain functions with powerful fMRI machines. They found that the prefrontal cortex of our brains was instrumental in managing what is called executive function—our capacity to control impulses, prioritize tasks, and organize plans. Other research suggested that the prefrontal cortexes of aggressive children actually hadn't developed, or were developing more slowly, so that they simply did not yet have brains capable of helping them regulate their behavior.
But brains are changeable. Learning and repeated experiences can actually alter the physical structure of the brain, creating new neuronal pathways. Nobel laureate Eric Kandel found that memory may be stored in the synapses of our nervous system. He won the Nobel Prize in 2000 for studying the Aplysia, a very simple sea slug, and discovering that when it "learned" something, like fear, it created new neurons.
The implications of this new wave of science for teachers are profound: Children can actually reshape their brains when they learn and practice skills. What's more, Dweck and other researchers demonstrated that when students are told this is so, both their motivation and achievement levels leap forward. "It was all sitting there waiting to be woven together," Greene says. He began coaching parents to focus on building up their children's problem-solving skills. It seemed to work.
By the early 1990s, Greene had earned his Ph.D. in clinical psychology. He moved to Massachusetts, where he began teaching at Harvard Medical School and directing the cognitive-behavioral psychology program at Massachusetts General Hospital. He also began testing his new approach in children's psychiatric clinics that had previously used Skinneresque methods. In 2001, Cambridge Health Alliance, a Boston-area hospital group, implemented CPS, and reports that within a year, its use of physical and chemical restraints (like clonidine, which is a powerful sedative) in young patients dropped from 20 cases per month to zero. A subsequent five-year clinical trial at Virginia Tech involving 134 children aged 7 to 14 validated the method as an effective way to treat kids with oppositional defiant disorder.
By 2001, when The Explosive Child came out in paperback, Greene had become a sought-after speaker, even appearing on Oprah. The first peer-reviewed paper in a scientific journal validating the effectiveness of his model appeared in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, and that led to even more invitations to speak at teaching hospitals and other facilities.
A child draws at Central School. Tristan Spinksi/GRAIN

In 2004, a psychologist from Long Creek Youth Development Center, a correctional center in South Portland, Maine, attended one of Greene's workshops in Portland and got his bosses to let him try CPS. Rodney Bouffard, then superintendent at the facility, remembers that some guards resisted at first, complaining about "that G-D-hugs-and-kisses approach." It wasn't hard to see why: Instead of restraining and isolating a kid who, say, flipped over a desk, staffers were now expected to talk with him about his frustrations. The staff began to ignore curses dropped in a classroom and would speak to the kid later, in private, so as not to challenge him in front of his peers.
But remarkably, the relationships changed. Kids began to see the staff as their allies, and the staff no longer felt like their adversaries. The violent outbursts waned. There were fewer disciplinary write-ups and fewer injuries to kids or staff. And once they got out, the kids were far better at not getting locked up again: Long Creek's one-year recidivism rate plummeted from 75 percent in 1999 to 33 percent in 2012. "The senior staff that resisted us the most," Bouffard told me, "would come back to me and say, 'I wish we had done this sooner. I don't have the bruises, my muscles aren't strained from wrestling, and I really feel I accomplished something.'"
"Is giving him a consequence—suspending him, calling his grandparents—is that going to teach him not to throw chairs?" she asks. "When you start doing all these consequences, they're going to dig their heels in even deeper, and nobody is going to win."
Maine's second juvenile detention facility, Mountain View, also adopted Greene's method, with similar results. Incidents that resulted in injury, confinement, or restraint dropped nearly two-thirds between April 2004 and April 2008.
LIKE THE LONG CREEK guards, staffers at Central were skeptical at first. When an enraged second-grader threw a chair at educational technician Susan Forsley one day, her first instinct was to not let him "get away with it." But she swallowed her pride and left the room until the boy calmed down. Later, she sat down with him and Principal D'Aran, and they resolved that if he felt himself getting angry like that again, he would head for the guidance office, where he'd sit with stuffed animals or a favorite book to calm down. Forsley eventually learned to read his emotions and head off problems by suggesting he take a break. "Is giving him a consequence—suspending him, calling his grandparents—is that going to teach him not to throw chairs?" she asks. "When you start doing all these consequences, they're going to dig their heels in even deeper, and nobody is going to win."
Will had graduated from Central and outgrown most of his baby fat when I arrived for breakfast at his home one Saturday morning. As he and his brothers helped prepare apple pancakes and fruit salad, he took a break to show me "Antlandia," a board game he created to showcase his knowledge of insects. Now in fifth grade, he'd made friends at his new school and was proudly riding the bus—something he couldn't handle before.
Between bites, Will consented to describe his experiences with the teachers and staff at Central School. "When they notice a kid that's angry, they try to help. They ask what's bothering them," he said, spiky brown bangs covering his eyebrows as he looked down at his plate. His mom, Rachel Wakefield, told me later that CPS had trained Will to be able to talk about frustrating situations and advocate for himself. Now, she said, he actually had an easier time of it than his big brother. "It's a really important skill as they enter into adolescence," she said.
From Greene's perspective, that's the big win—not just to fix kids' behavior problems, but to set them up for success on their own. Too many educators, he believes, fixate on a child's problems outside of school walls—a turbulent home, a violent neighborhood—rather than focus on the difference the school can make. "Whatever he's going home to, you can do the kid a heck of a lot of good six hours a day, five days a week, nine months a year," Greene says. "We tie our hands behind our backs when we focus primarily on things about which we can do nothing."

Sunday, October 12, 2014

5 WAYS TO IMPROVE SCHOOL FOR BEHAVIORALLY CHALLENGING STUDENTS - Ross Greene

The original post can be found on the Simon and Schuster "Tips on Life and Love" blog. CLICK HERE! for original post.

5 WAYS TO IMPROVE SCHOOL FOR BEHAVIORALLY CHALLENGING STUDENTS

0 Comments 01 October 2014
DisruptiveKidsinClass400Teachers, parents, and students enter each school year with anticipation and trepidation, perhaps especially so when a student has a history of behavioral challenges.Dealing with behaviorally challenging students and their parents has been identified as one of the greatest stressors for teachers, and student behavior problems are commonly cited as a leading factor causing teachers to leave the profession prematurely. In the U.S. and Canada, rates of officediscipline referrals, detentions, suspensions, and (in 19 American states) corporal punishment, remain at astronomical levels.
Understanding and helping behaviorally challenging students is hard, and traditional school disciplinary practices frequently aren’t up to the task. Effective intervention often requires new lenses and new practices. I’ve gone into great details about the foregoing guidance in my book, Lost at School, but here are some key points that should help.
Stop Blaming
While this has become a bit of a cliché, it’s still very common for parents and educators to blame each other for a child’s behavioral challenges at school (and, of course, both sets of adults frequently blame the child). School personnel often point toward less-than-ideal family circumstances as the cause of these challenges. It’s worth noting that the parents aren’t at school when their child exhibits challenging behavior. It’s also worth pointing out that many well behaved students come from family situations that are less than ideal. Parent bashing simply causes the folks at school to become distracted by factors they can do little about and to lose sight of the fact that a lot of good can be done in the six hours a day, five days a week, and nine months that a student is in school every year, irrespective of adverse circumstances at home. And parent bashing also makes it much harder to collaborate with parents, who are usually well aware of the fact that they’re being viewed as “the problem.”
Blaming is just as common in the opposite direction. Educators often feel that parents don’t appreciate how hard it is to handle the classroom disruptions of behaviorally challenging students, especially when classroom teachers are under enormous pressure to get every student over the increasingly high bar set by high-stakes testing (the standard by which teachers are judged). While many educators are invested in helping their behaviorally challenging students, they often haven’t received training on how to best accomplish the mission.
Focus on Lagging Skills Rather Than Lagging Motivation
Perhaps the most compelling finding from the research that has accumulated on behaviorally challenging kids over the past 40-50 years is that lagging skills (rather than lagging motivation) is the primary factor contributing to challenging behavior. That probably explains why characterizations such as “attention seeking,” “unmotivated,” “manipulative,” and “limit-testing” aren’t very accurate, and why all those sticker charts, time-outs, trips to the office, detentions, suspensions, and paddlings aren’t helping very much. It’s far more productive to identify the skills a child is lacking–skills such as flexibility/adaptability, frustration tolerance, and problem-solving–so as to come to a more accurate understanding of the true factors making it hard for a child to meet academic and behavioral expectations at school. In other words, behavioral challenges are a form of developmental delay, and are really quite similar to other forms of developmental delays (reading, writing, language, math) that are commonly seen in schools. Of course, identifying lagging skills also helps adults stop blaming the student for his behavioral challenges. If he could do well, he would do well.
Focus on Problems Rather Than Behaviors
It’s very tempting for adults to focus primarily on the behaviors a student exhibits—hitting, biting, screaming, swearing, belligerence, and so forth—when he’s having difficulty meeting expectations. But it’s usually far more productive to focus on the problems that are causing those behaviors (I call them unsolved problems): for example, difficulty getting along with a particular classmate at recess, difficulty standing in line for lunch, difficulty sitting next to a particular peer during circle time, difficulty on a particular academic task. The switch in focus helps shift the adult role from behavior modifier to problem-solver. It’s not uncommon for classroom teachers, counselors, and administrators to focus exclusively on a student’s behaviors for an entire school year and never solve any of the problems that are causing those behaviors. This is demoralizing for educators, parents, and students, and, over time, causes kids to become hopeless, alienated, and disenfranchised. I’ve developed a brief instrument to assist in identifying lagging skills and unsolved problems—it’s called theAssessment of Lagging Skills and Unsolved Problems and can be found both inLost at School and on the website of my non-profit organization, Lives in the Balance.
Solve Problems Collaboratively Rather Than Unilaterally
Even when adults are in problem-solving mode, they often come up with unilateral solutions that they then impose on a student. These solutions are usually based on no information or buy-in from the intended beneficiary of the solution: the student. While there’s no question that adults may have great insights about a student’s difficulties, and outstanding solutions to offer, it’s far better to view the student as a collaborative partner, one with extremely important information to provide about the problems that are causing challenging behavior, and with (often surprising) ideas about how those problems can be solved.
The same notions are equally applicable to problem solving between parents and teachers. Often teachers and administrators impose solutions and expect both students and their parents to abide by their decrees. Once again, better for the adults to come to a consensus on what’s truly getting in the way for the student (with significant input from the student himself) and then work together toward solutions. There are many benefits to solving problems this way, including the fact that both parents and educators have unique expertise to offer on the same child, and that there’s no one to blame when solutions don’t work as well as hoped (since those solutions were a team effort). By the way, solutions that aren’t working aren’t cause for returning to old, punitive, unilateral ways of dealing with behaviorally challenging kids; rather, it’s reason to return to the problem-solving table to come up with improved solutions after figuring out why the initial solution didn’t quite accomplish the mission.
Solve Problems Proactively Rather Than Emergently
A lot of intervention that takes place in schools occurs emergently and reactively, in the heat of the moment. But that’s very poor timing on solving problems, and helps explain why many problems remain unsolved. Fortunately, when schools routinely use the Assessment of Lagging Skills and Unsolved Problems, challenging episodes become highly predictable, and the stage is set for the collaboration on solving problems to be planned and proactive. Of course, many members of the school staff wonder when they’ll find the time to solve problems proactively with their students. While it’s true that, in many schools, time had to be carved out of already-busy schedules to solve problems with their most at-risk students, most of the concerns about time come before staff begins solving problems collaboratively and proactively with their students. Over time–after they’ve been doing it for a while–it’s common for staff to have concluded that solving problems collaboratively and proactively actually saves time.
Lost at School: Why Our Kids with Behavioral Challenges are Falling Through the Cracks and How We Can Help Them

LOST AT SCHOOL: WHY OUR KIDS WITH BEHAVIORAL CHALLENGES ARE FALLING THROUGH THE CRACKS AND HOW WE CAN HELP THEM

Ross W. Greene
Dr. Ross W. Greene is associate clinical professor in the Department of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School and the author of both Lost at School andThe Explosive Child. He is also the founder of a non-profit organization called Lives in the Balance (LivesintheBalance.org), through which he disseminates the model of care described in his books, Collaborative Problem Solving. Dr. Greene’s research has been funded by the US Department of Education, the National Institute on Drug Abuse, the Stanley Medical Research Institute, and the Maine Juvenile Justice Advisory Group. 

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Free Ross Greene Webinar!!! This Thursday! 4/11/2013

ODD and ADHD: Parenting Strategies for Working with Defiant Children (Ages 6-12)

Join us for the expert webinar hosted by Ross W. Greene, Ph.D., on Thursday, April 11, 2013 at 1 PM EST.
ADDitude Webinars | posted by ADDitude Editors | Tuesday April 2nd - 10:07am
Filed Under: Oppositional Defiant DisorderBehavior in ADHD KidsADHD and Discipline
 323  16   18 + More  314 PrintPrint
Join ADHD expert Ross W. Greene, Ph.D., as he hosts the ODD and ADHD: Parenting Strategies for Working with Defiant Children (Ages 6-12) webinar on Thursday, April 11, 2013, from 1p.m. to 2p.m. EST (12 p.m. to 1 p.m. CST and 10 a.m. to 11 a.m. PST).
Ross Greene Headshot 120px
In this free webinar, expert Ross W. Greene, Ph.D., will provide answers to your questions about:
>> Tips for calming your defiant child
>> How to "reason" with your ODD child
>> Strategies to help your kid manage frustration and problem solve
Already have questions for the expert? Post them in advance to this blog post using the comments box below.

Monday, July 16, 2012

Ross Green's Summer CPS Road Trip

Click below to find out what Ross Green is recommending for summer reading and summer listening! And, well, he thinks you should come visit him in Maine! What if everyone loads up the kids and converges on Maine? Who's to know!

For the time being, whether or not you make the trip to Maine, peruse what's new by clicking below!

Ross Green's Summer CPS Road Trip

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Bill of Rights for Challenging Kids

Bill of Rights for Behaviorally Challenging Kids by Ross Greene, Phd

If we don’t start doing right by kids with social, emotional, and behavioral challenges, we’re going to keep losing them at an astounding rate. Doing the right thing isn’t an option…it’s an imperative. There are lives in the balance, and we all need to do everything we can to make sure those lives aren’t lost. Behaviorally challenging kids have the right:

- To have their behavioral challenges understood as a form of developmental delay in the domains of flexibility/adaptability, frustration tolerance, and problem-solving

- To have people -- parents, teachers, mental health clinicians, doctors, coaches...everyone -- understand that challenging behavior is no less a form of developmental delay than delays in reading, writing, and arithmetic, and is deserving of the same compassion and approach as are applied to these other cognitive delays.

- Not to be misunderstood and counterproductively labeled as bratty, spoiled, manipulative, attention-seeking, coercive, limit-testing, controlling, or unmotivated.

- To have adults understand that challenging behavior occurs in response to specific unsolved problems -- homework, screen time, teeth brushing, clothing choices, sibling interactions, and so forth -- and that these unsolved problems are usually highly predictable and can therefore be solved proactively.

- To have adults understand that the primary goal of intervention is to collaboratively solve these problems in a way that is realistic and mutually satisfactory so that they don't precipitate challenging behavior any more.

- To have adults (and classmates) understand that time-outs, detentions, suspensions, expulsion, and isolation do not solve problems or "build character" but rather often make things worse.

- To have adults take a genuine interest in their concerns or perspectives, and to have those concerns and perspectives viewed as legitimate, important, and worth listening to and clarifying.

- To have adults in their lives who do not resort to physical intervention and are knowledgeable about and proficient in other means of solving problems.

- To have adults who understand that solving problems collaboratively -- rather than insisting on blind adherence to authority -- is what prepares kids for the demands they will face in the real world.

- To have adults understand that blind obedience to authority is dangerous, and that life in the real world requires expressing one's concerns, listening to the concerns of others, and working toward mutually satisfactory solutions.



If you agree with what you've just read, print the Bill of Rights and post it in your home, office, or workplace. If you want to help Lives in the Balance let people who make important decisions affecting behaviorally challenging kids know that you endorse the above principles, sign it (just click below)! And if you need a clean copy of the Bill of Rights, CLICK HERE.

Sign the Bill of Rights



Bill of Rights for Challenging Kids under the Collaborative Problem Solving approach | Lives in the Balance

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

TCC Newsletter Featuring CPS Groups

Below is a link to the Spring 2011 Newsletter from The Child Center with a feature story about Collaborative Problem Solving Parent Groups! Take a peek! There is information in the article about upcoming groups as well...

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Plan A: Tables Turned

I carried a screaming almost-four-year-old to bed last night.

That is certainly one advantage to having a child of almost-four: portability. I can pick my child up, kicking and screaming, and physically move him. I can, ultimately, make things happen by imposing my will. Hopefully, some cognitive development will happen over the next few years and I won't be faced with a screaming and kicking fourteen-year-old!

I recently spoke with a family in crisis who have a 14 year old boy. There were serious problems at bedtime. There was screaming (teen and adult). There was kicking (teen). There was a hole in a wall. And, well, a 14 year-old who was about as big as his parents. Nobody was picking him up, carrying him kicking and screaming down the hall, and putting him in bed! Not gonna happen.

This young man had always struggled with some behavior issues and had really started laying down the law in his home lately: It was "his way or the highway." Sound familiar? Plan A.

There was a long history of school difficulties and behavior problems which thinly masked a number of lagging thinking skills. Additionally, the parents were experiencing some undesirable side-effects of fourteen years of Plan A. The unintended learning that can go along with Plan A can be that “might makes right,” it is acceptable to use power, force, intimidation, or aggression to get your way, blindly obey those in authority, or don't bother expressing your concerns because adults don't listen. These are not values parents say they want for their children. This becomes especially true when parents are faced with an angry, intimidating, out-of-control teenager!

What now? (A little CPS)

Rebuilding some sort of relationship with this particular teenager will be a long and grueling proposition requiring change, patience, and dedication. But that's the definition of being a parent, isn't it?

Change can start with assessing the child or teen's lagging thinking skills: what thinking skills are needed to function in his/her daily life? Difficult behavior will be found at times the environment is requiring a skill which the child does not have. The initial focus on lagging thinking skills allows adults to see their child in a new light: It allows adults to see the child in the light of “ Kids do well if they can.” Again, if you don't have the skills, you are not going to do it. No matter how hard you try. The “kids do well if they can” lens also moves parents from the position of “enforcer of rules” to “teacher of skills.” Some items can be dealt with using Plan C; removing the expectation “for now” while other issues are dealt with.

The big intervention in CPS will be Plan B. Essentially, Plan B involves a semi-structured conversation with the child in which the parent uses empathy to find out what the child's concern is, defines the problem, and then invites the child to brainstorm solutions. (Sounds easy without all the detail...there is a lot more...)

For more a more detailed abbreviation of CPS, please see The 533 of CPS.

Back to my house...
I have a few years before 14, thankfully. My boy and I will have to talk a little Plan B talk. More on this later!

Content note: References to families, teens, or kids are composites with changed details for illustration and do not represent any one child or family.