Five Ways Fathers Matter

June 16, 2016 Father's Day is a time to pause and think about the many ways that dads make a difference in their children's lives.  Research shows that father's positive engagement can improve child well-being whether they live full-time with their children or not. Fatherhood is a complex and evolving concept, but there are some things we know for sure about its value for kids: Fathers make important contributions to their kids' development---and do so in ways that are different from mother's contributions. Fathers are more likely to use advanced language around young kids, which promotes vocabulary development. Fathers also tend to prioritize rough-and-tumble play, letting kids explore, and playing more than caretaking, which establish independence and positive social skills. Positive father engagement has been linked to better outcomes on measures of child well-being, such as cognitive development, educational achievement, self-esteem, and pro-social behavior. Fathers today are increasingly involved in their children's lives, especially compared to earlier generations. Fatherhood and fathering is central to many men's lives, though these experiences are increasingly diverse. Today's U.S. fathers take care of their children more than most fathers did a generation ago. Father-child interactions range from soothing infants and toddlers to participating in activities that stimulate their children's development, such as reading and telling stories and helping with homework. They also provide emotional support and guidance to their adolescents.   Most fathers who do not live with children help provide for them financially. The popular notion of the "deadbeat dad" suggests that dads who do not live with their children try to avoid paying for them. However, in 2013, 74 percent of eligible mothers received either full or partial child support payments. Fathers often provide this support while navigating various obstacles, such as a lack of stable employment or housing, payments for children in multiple households, or struggles after incarceration. This money is a safety net for many families. Children who live with one parent are about twice as likely to live in poverty (28.8 percent) than the general population (14.5 percent). Child support payments lifted approximately one million people out of poverty in 2012. Fathers also provide other types of financial support that benefit child well-being: about half (51 percent) of noncustodial parents (the vast majority of whom are fathers) provide their children's health insurance, and 60 percent of fathers provide some type of non-cash support, such as gifts, clothes, food, medical expenses, or child care. Even fathers who don't live with their children can be involved parents. Resident fathers are more involved in their children's lives now than ever before, but when fathers don't live with their kids, their level of involvement varies greatly. This is partly because parents' co-parenting relationship---how well they work together to raise their child---often declines when they break up. Cooperation as co-parents is a strong predictor of a father's involvement---as strong as his earlier parenting behaviors. To keep nonresident fathers connected to their children, it's important to foster a cooperative co-parenting relationship with their child's other caregiver, who may limit the father's access to their joint children. More programs for parents have begun to recognize fathers' value. Although there are many community-based programs that focus on supporting moms, practitioners have realized fathers' needs and their importance. Many programs directly serve fathers themselves and incorporate lessons on parenting, co-parenting, and healthy relationships. Others help with professional skill-building and job searching, and have been shown to improve fathers' employment rates. The federal government recently funded nearly 50 organizations across the United States to provide these types of so-called Responsible Fatherhood activities, emphasizing the importance of improving and supporting fathers' relationships with their children. Contributors: Elizabeth Karberg, Research Scientist;  Kimberly Turner, Research Scientist;  Shawn Teague, Research Analyst;  April Wilson, Research Scientist; and  Mindy Scott, Deputy Program Area Director of Reproductive Health and Family Formation

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Post-Halloween Candy Fight Frights?

Halloween was a blast this year! I have two 6 year old boys who were a bunny and a bat... So much fun! A couple of hours out in the mists of Oregon, collecting candy from strangers, no meltdowns, and nobody got lost or misplaced! A great and memorable evening!

And now we have candy. So much candy. So much candy in a house that usually provides apples for dessert. There has been lots of "Can I have a piece now?" "Mom said I could have a piece this morning." "How about now?" "Candy?" Honestly, my response has not been organized or collaborative in the least. 

I spoke with a good friend yesterday who gave me some very nice ideas that I am going to work into a Plan B tonight. (I am wary of this because I know I ought to be open on the solution end of things so I don't end up with a soft and sweet Plan A.)

My group Plan B will start out something like...

     I've noticed we have been talking a lot about all that candy we've got in the kitchen...

Keeping with CPS, I have thought through my concerns ahead of time and they are as follows:

     We work really hard in our family to eat lots of "Go Food" and really limit the "Slow Food" to keep our        family healthy.

     I really like spending positive time with you rather than arguing about candy.

The ideas that may or may not survive Plan B that I want to add in are: 

     Switch Witch Visit: The Switch Witch is the last spook of Halloween to sweep through your neighborhood. She is, apparently, quite the glutton, living entirely on Halloween candy. Kids pick out their favorite 10 pieces of sugar and leave the rest for the Switch Witch... She picks up the delightful candy and leaves a gift in place of the candy!

     Capitalism Intervention: I will pay you for your pile of candy at the rate of... 5 for a buck? 6 for a buck?


More on this later...
Mark

The one secret to being a great father...

And a great way to create emotional engagement? Empathy! The beginning ingredient of Plan B! Happy -albeit late- Father's Day!

The one secret to being a great father: emotional engagement - Daily Dose: A Boston Globe blog with health news, advice, and information.:



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Happy Father's Day!

If you are a father, do you measure up?

Take a few moments to think about the difference between "mothering" a child and "fathering" a child. There's a not-so-subtle linguistic difference between the two. Interesting. I like to think of it as so much more!

One way or another, Happy Father's Day to you or the fathers in your life!

Father Nature: 8 Great, Super-Dedicated Animal Dads [Slide Show]: Scientific American